At 5:30 this morning, she came into our room complaining of being hot......102.4 degrees hot.
Jon and I moved through the abnormally familiar routine of calling the doctor, hearing that we should head to the hospital right away, rounding up her medical binder, loading the cell phone charger, laptop, clothing changes, toothbrushes, etc. and making the 32 mile trip to the hospital.
They are looking for signs of infection. They are treating her with IV antibiotics. They are monitoring her temperature, blood work and ANC levels. We will be here a minimum of 2-3 days and possibly longer pending results of her blood cultures.
We have been here before. In this very room. With the same nurses. With the same questions, instructions and warnings. This is familiar, but not comfortable. This is upsetting, but not devastating. This is a setback, but not a catastrophe. We are trying to stay positive and strong for her.
We have been noticing lately that our emotions are a bit out of sync. Jon and I have both experienced times recently that we've been given very exciting and good news, or quite negative news involving details of our life, not related to Emma's medical diagnosis. We have not had the usual appropriate responses to either of these situations. We don't get overly excited, and we also don't get completely upset. I think we have to stay so stable in our emotional state for Emma's sake and continue to have to ride out unexpected situations with her condition, that normal emotional responses are dulled to a slight feeling of joy or sadness, but not to the appropriate level. I don't know if this is a natural protective instinct that our brains default to, when one has experienced a huge amount of emotional input, or if that is God, quietly taking on the burden on our behalf. I believe it's the latter choice. Thankfully, it's a sense of quietness and peace in the soul. God is giving us one day at a time, one experience, one trial, and softening the volume a bit.
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.